Chapter 23: our first christmas all together

So as you can see we survived the holidays! Felix was very excited with the thought of Christmas right around the corner. We didn't unfortunately get any pictures of the kids with Santa this year, considering the babies were both too scared & Felix just didn't want to wait in line since he had already emailed & sent a letter to Santa, he figured he was set. D & I along with the 3 kids & my parents set off on an adventure at the tree farm about a week before Christmas. Felix searched & searched and finally he found us our perfect tree & we all took turns to cut it down. Felix was really proud of his tree. Our adventure was soon cut short though with a new blizzard that was heading our way. So many blizzards in December this year it's very wierd isn't that supposed to happen in january?! On Sunday afternoon we decorated the tree. The babies got really excited when we brought the tree in the house & they started dancing all around it. Felix got to put the star on top. All the kids got super excited when I added all the presents! Christmas Eve was pretty good. We went to my brother & his wife's house & had supper. We played games & just had a generally nice time. Christmas Day was at my house this year. It was so nice having the whole family over & cooking for everyone. I even went & picked up my Grandma Mary for the day which I still find so amazing. To think that 3 years in a row now we have spent Christmas together, when before we never talked to each other. The kids loved all their presents & it was like a snow storm of paper as they unwrapped them. I have to say our first Christmas with all our babies finally home was amazing!

Chapter 22: the untitled

I just can't not seem to find the right words to to describe the feelings. There are no words adequate enough as I sit here crying trying to take it all in trying to process it & not truelly understanding why. Wishing, hoping & praying for people I do not even know but share one common link that seems to make it all so much more profound.

Chapter 21: what were we thinking & something is wrong

well, we decided to try taking all the kids in to get pictures done. Needless to say it went even worse then I imagined it could. We got great pictures of Felix he was a total ham. And he tried so hard to get the babies to smile. Kash started off ok until the photographer touched him then it was all down hill & he refused to take any pictures & just cried & we got 2 pictures of him with his typical half cry half laugh look. Sage screamed her head off the entire time, which was reallyh wierd I couldn't figure out what the problem was. We did luck out & get one good family picture it was a miracle everyone was smiling at the same time. Well as soon as we left the photo place Sage & Kash got really sick. Kash just was sick for a couple hours Sage was sick for 2 weeks. So it's finally been almost a month & Sage is finally back up & running. sort of! I'm hoping one of these days I can get a doctor to listen to me & quit trying to tell me it's just a cold or virus or something cause she doesn'r have any of those right now. I hate sounding like the crazy lady her takes her kids to the doctor all the time convinced something is wrong but isn't but I really know something is not right. Sage has been having more & more trouble breathing at night, her doctor keeps telling me she is just a breath holder. Well yeah when she cries sometimes she does hold her breath but not when she is sleep she actually gasps for air & makes choking noises.... also she has been using her left arm less & less & it isn't growing like her right one. She has also become very sensitive on the left side of her chest you barely touch it & she says it hurts. before once in a blue moon she would say that her chest hurt but now it has been come more & more now it is a daily thing complain that her left side of her chest hurts, now her left side of her stomach & as of yesterday her left leg hurts....I just don't understand what is going on & no one will listen to me! I just don't know what to do anymore! here's to frustration!!!!
Other news on the home front: Felix is learning how to read I'm super excited about it I can't wait till he is really good at it. He is so excited about it & i'm so proud of him, I hope he becomes a book worm like me lol.
Kash has become a kissy huggy boy. He still has some anger issues but at least now he will give you a hug & kiss after wards & say sorry. Like tonight when he punched me in the eye becuase I was helping Felix get his Tae Kwon Do stuff on instead of handing him another cracker. At least he realizes he sis wrong & appoligizes it's a start!

Chapter 20: Let the holiday season begin

So it's November 28 & my christmas shopping is done! We spent Thanksgiving in town at my brothers house with his wife & kids my mother-in-law (who is also my bro's mother in law) our mother in laws boyfriend his kids & grandkids & our brother in law with his wife & 2 of his kids. Sorry to say but it was the worst Thanksgiving of my life & never want to do that again & the food was not so good. But hey wants the holidays without having to all the things you don't want to & the family feuding?! lol anyways we are rounding the corner into Christmas so bring it on. Unlike last year I'm ready so lets go!

Chapter 19: week of head spinning

WOW what a crazy week we have had & the weekend is going to be even more head spinning! Holiday season is so bitter sweet, the stress, the fighting, the work, the money, the "fallen" friends & family but the blessings, dreams, wishes, little hands & smiles, the love & closeness of family & friends, you have got to love this time of year. Thanksgiving is just around the corner with Christmas & birthday season for our huge family trailing close behind.
Let's see Sage started to hurt pretty bad monday & just kept getting worse by thurday she wasn't eating, hardly drinking & just laid there wimpering. I took her to the walk in & turns out she picked up a lovely bacterial-yeast infection in her mouth & down her throat from surgery. So now she is on 4 different meds that she fights taking with all her might & we are praying no one else ends up with it. She is so miserable, constant fever & it must be very painful because she hardly complains normally but she isn't talking just wimpering & wanting to be held & pointing down her throat. My poor little princess.
In good news though, Felix lost his first tooth Thursday night. It had been loose for awhile now & i tried to pull it out but it was just so tiny I couldn't get a grip. Well Felix & Kash were rolling around on the floor pretending to be stream rollers. Next thing you know Felix is running around the house super excited & screaming "my tooth my tooth it fianlly came out" Then he turns to me & says all happy as a clam "all I needed was my brothers help" too cute! So Felix puts his tooth in a ziplock bag so his tooth wouldn't fall under his bed & get lost so the tooth fairy wouldn't leave him any money. I was so excited to get to play tooth fairy. The next morning when he woke up there was 5 $1 bills under his pillow & you would have thought he had won the lottery! He was so happy & kept saying he was going to tell everyone at school all about it. Well he has another lose tooth that shoudl be out any day, so he says to me "mom mom I have another tooth that will come out soon & i'll get another 5 dollars, so if I save this 5 dollars & get another 5 dollars I can buy a cooler toy then if I just used this 5 dollars cause then I would have 10 whole dollars" what a crazy little kid, i'm happy he is getting the concept of saving & money, I must be doing something right. lol
In Kash news, he is doing better & better. He is my cuddly lover boy, he gives the best hugs. He is still learning more & more words. Working on his balance & all around gracefulness considering he is a huge clutz but hey so am I. Kash has become a HUGE elmo fan. So he spends most of his day talking about Melmo (as he calls elmo) & trying to get as many treats from abuela as possible. Oh yeah he also has started copying Felix. Sage was feeling exspecially crappy late thursday afternoon & Felix was trying to cheer her up. So Felix is touching Sage's knee with one finger & then falling on the floor saying "sage you got me" & things like that. Well here comes Kash teetering in & usually he would just watch for a few seconds & off he would go but this day he watched for a little bit & all of a sudden he was doing the same thing. It was really kool. Kash is kind of my loner kid, I have a feeling he is going to be just like me as he grows up. Quietly observing his surroundings, loving books & school, just having a few really close friends & can quietly occupy himself.
Tonight after work D surprised me by bringing me a coffee & we decided to run to target to get a bunch of stuff we needed. As we were walking in D was carrying Kash I was carrying Sage who was hiding in her blanket & Felix between. So Kash is pointing at Sage & saying Baby Baby trying to talk to D about Sage. Well Kash is the youngest so D is telling him no you are the baby Kash is the baby & Kash looked right at him & says No I'm Not! 2 very hysterical things, first Sage & Kash call each other baby, I find it entertaining I have to wonder how they see each other if you know what I mean, I hope so cause I'm not sure I can explain it right now I'm so tired. Secondly, Kash doesn't say very many words, just single words like he can't really name things like chair, bottle...he can with a few things but that is what he has been working on & he talks alot but it's mostly just jibberish with phrases & sentences hidden in you just have to listen closely he has always done that. like he will follow you around & say what are you doing (that is exactly what he will say too, it's not like little kid talk) but he can't tell you what a chair is....i just find it very uniquely wierd!
So anyways i'm going to enjoy my rest cause tomorrow we are exchanging furniture with my mom it's a great way of having "new furniture" & change of scenery with out having to spend a bunch of money. And we have to go buy a new TV thank goodness for gift cards! And we have the local adoption celebration tomorrow! It's going to be a very long but short weekend!

Chapter 18: updates & my man Felix

Let's see it's November 19...Sage had her tonsils & adnoids out last friday. We were supposed to spend the night at the hospital because she is so tiny but she was doing so well they let us go home that night. Sage has been doing great since the surgery, well until monday night when she started to run a fever, her throat was hurting, she was refusing to drink anything & she had the most horrible breath ever. Turns out she picked up a lovely case of strep throat...
Anyways, friday night we got to go home thank goodness becuase our nephew was sick & so our boys couldn't spend the night. Felix was pretty sad about it but he understood. My mom felt really bad about it because she was the one who had to tell him but to make matters worse she was picking Felix up from school & she heard him tell one of his friends how he was going to have a sleepover & he was so excited & then my mom had to tell him. poor mom. Our nephew ended up feeling better by saturday morning it was a fast moving bug that we have all had so Felix spent saturday night at their house & had a blast. We stayed home with the babies & our friend Chad came over with his wife Ally & their daughter Autumn who is just a little older then Kash & Sage. The kids played & Chad made supper, salmon & couscous. It was the best dinner I have had in a very long time & the kids had fun getting to know each other & play. Sunday was cleaning day so nothing really fun about that except D has been bugging me again about letting him go on an ice fishing trip to Devil's Lake for a weekend, him, Felix & Chad. They have been trying for 2 years now, but I don't know I just keep saying no, until.....
Monday morning I took Felix to school we were driving along talking about how it was cold outside & the lakes were freezing. Well, Felix proceeds to tell me "Well mom they have these bunk houses that you can stay in you can sleep there on the ice all weekend if you want & you know I love ice fishing & I can sleep on the top bunk cause I'm a big boy & I really really want to go can I mom can I please" so of course I gave in & said yes. I swear D coached him on this, I know felix loves & I mean LOVES ice fishing but come... D swears he didn't tell Felix to do it he just told him about the idea of the fishing trip & Felix did his typical drama faint & got really excited. Yes I know my son drama faints, he does the whole back of the hand on the forehead & melts to the floor thing, it's really funny.
Felix has to be the most confusing kid, I can't quite figure him out. He loves musicals & plays, he has a huge fashionation of the human body & how it all works.he wants to marry a man & a woman he is super kissy & is always getting into trouble at school for being to affectionate, he wants to adopt kids, he is a little actor, he loves pink & yellow, he loves barbies, tea parties & monster trucks & martial arts. He wants to be a chiroprator & an MMA fighter, he loves ice fishing but not fishing in a boat. He wants to hunt & shoot a deer & a goose yet he finds it cruel to hurt animals. He is super out going friends with everyone always the center of attention the funny guy in class, but yet he is shy & has no friends. he loves to have his picture taken & be filmed he totally hams it up but he hates to have his picture taken when people are around to see it then he gets mad & throws a fit. Felix the king of opposites.

Kash's adoption journey

Kash Mykel Alejandro Tuel